As a university student, I myself have often gone through failure. Whether it was resitting an exam or not achieving a desired grade, failure has often plagued me and my fellow students. It’s natural to feel disappointed when you don’t reach your goals, be it academic or personal, and the consequent feelings of frustration, resentment, and confusion are all valid. However, it’s also good to remind yourself that in university, especially here at the University of Twente, failure is not the end: most of the time, it’s a sign to try again.
1. Retreat and recuperate
The first step, in my opinion, is to give yourself time. Time to reflect on what happened, time to realise that you probably didn’t understand as much as you thought you did, time to process that you did, indeed, just fail. Give yourself time to process that you failed, complain until you run out of words, rant to everyone about how unfair it is – whatever you feel like you need to do. You worked hard, you put in the hours – but unfortunately, you didn't get what you wanted.
It’s completely valid to feel a bit discouraged as you process failure. No one’s going to blame you for feeling a little self-pity. However, lingering too long on these feelings could lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, so I give myself a limit on how long I can complain about my abysmal grade. Usually a day: enough time to say, ‘welp, that was a bummer. I’ll try again, better this time,’ and get into the mindset. After a day, I realise that things can only go up, so I grit my teeth and move on.
2. Accept the failure
After wallowing in your misery, the next step is to actually accept that you failed, at least for now. This will give you time to focus on other things, such as other exams you have to study for, or other important matters that you need to attend to. Accept your failure, but don’t be nonchalant about it. Be sure that whatever you do next, you’ll do with full control over yourself: don’t let failure take hold of you! If you’re set on doing something, you might as well do it right.
3. Realise that failure is not the end
Failing an exam could mean that you didn’t study enough, or that you didn’t get enough sleep, or didn’t have enough time, or that it just wasn’t your day. Whatever the case, failure signifies that you were not ready for the exam, and now you get the chance to try again. My first failed exam was a blow, but I quickly realised that it was more a lesson rather than a punishment. It was the simplest thing, but back then, it seemed almost impossible to grasp: if you failed an exam, there was just something about the way you prepared that didn’t meet the minimum requirements. If you failed, too bad – but it’s not the end of the world, and you’ll get to try again. In the Netherlands, failure is almost never seen as an end-all-be-all, but rather as, again, a lesson.
4. Remember your goals
It can be hard to remember why you’re doing any of this in the first place when you study so much just to fail or barely scrape by. I admit, there have been moments where scenarios played in my head, like a chain of negative events leading far into the future, all propagated by failing an exam. Please don’t get ahead of yourself.
Remembering your goals helps you to realise that this is what you want and that it takes effort to get there. You can handle failure, you can learn to succeed again, and success only means something when you know how it feels to fail. So remind yourself what and why you’re doing what you’re doing, and try to see this setback as just another part of your learning process.
5. Analyse what you can learn
After you’ve (mostly) gotten over it, remember that time won’t stop – you need to plan a course of action. What questions did I get wrong? How did they distribute the points here? What did I do last time that screwed me over? These are all questions you should be asking yourself as you begin to prepare for the resit.
There is always something to take away from your previous exam, and often you have the opportunity to review them! So I recommend going to the exam viewing to look at your previous exam and see where you went wrong. Discuss it with your teacher, and if necessary go through the answers together. You can then explain your answers and show that you have understood the matter more than it seems. In some cases, you may even get extra points - maybe just enough for a pass!
But if you did that and fell short – practice! Redo the exam, time yourself and review your mistakes. Exhaust every resource at your disposal until you finally understand. You don’t have to strive for perfection if that isn’t your goal, but aim for the highest you can manage, and settle for what you get.
6. Try again
Once the time comes, try again. If you prepare appropriately, you’ll be more ready than ever. Resits are usually harder than the first exam, but that’s in line with the course, as you have more time to prepare and look at your mistakes.
All this makes it sound as though I think failure is a great thing. Obviously, you shouldn’t strive for the bare minimum, or romanticise failure: no one really wants to fail, after all. We were told as children that our hard work would pay off. For many of us in university, where things depend on you and only you, academic failure is the first time we realise that hard work is not always rewarded. But failure can always be seen as a lesson, so pick yourself up and try again!
Embrace failure and its lessons. It’s a chance to learn more about yourself and what you’re capable of. At its most extreme, failure is a chance to analyse your dreams and desires, to find the courage to let go if you’ve changed. Failure is necessary sometimes, even if it was just a matter of unfortunate circumstances. It’s harsh and brutal, but it works, and it might be the best thing to have ever happened to you.
